Do Not Look At Me

Today’s assignment for Writing 201 poetry Tomorrow / Sonnet / Chiasmus. I think I’ve cracked it! It’s about the future, it’s definitely a sonnet – my first – and it contains chiasmus. Yes!

I’m really sad that this is the last assignment of the course.


Avert your eyes, do not look at me today
I am not fully formed, I am not as I will be
If you look at me now you will only see
A tortured soul who has lost her way
If you look at me now I may always stay
Lost in these shadows I wish to flee
Never to live the life that’s written for me
Ever doomed to a future shrouded in grey
A shuffling figure clad in cast off shoes
So turn away quickly and turn away now
To watch me fail would be a cruel abuse
I will transform in secret if you will allow
Because to lose my way is my way to lose
So I turn to success, and success takes a bow

© Jane Paterson Basil

27 thoughts on “Do Not Look At Me

          1. But you meet so many great people on here. It really does become a neighborhood after awhile. It seems such a counterpoint to what I hear about Facebook and Twitter, neither of which I do. I know you’re suppose to hook all those things up, but that’s not my cup of tea. I just like it HERE.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. On the recommendation of Blogging 101 I hooked this up to facebook, and my friends have taken very little interest. Having said that, I don’t pay much attention to Facebook anyway. It can be a useful campaigning tool, but in general it’s a rather silly vehicle.

              Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no! Don’t be sorry! I love it when I am so touched by poetry or other written things. It’s such a gift. In fact, I’ve started writing some of the poems from folks I know on here in my journal. I always ask first. Do you mind if I keep it? It’s one I’ll read over and over again just because I feel that same way.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Bravo (or rather: brava)! I like how this sonnet plays on the idea of looking at and/or averting one’s eyes away from the speaker. It adds another layer of reversal to the actual/textual chiasmus you introduced.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. That is probably the biggest compliment I have ever received, Calen.
        I am the figure shuffling in cast-off shoes with a belief that I could be so much more, but the outside world presses in, and would suffocate me if I didn’t have this blog. Secret words hidden on my office programme were getting me nowhere. The support from this community is changing my life, and giving me the focus and the confidence to do what I have to do.


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