Today’s assignment for Writing 201 poetry Tomorrow / Sonnet / Chiasmus. I think I’ve cracked it! It’s about the future, it’s definitely a sonnet – my first – and it contains chiasmus. Yes!
I’m really sad that this is the last assignment of the course.
Avert your eyes, do not look at me today
I am not fully formed, I am not as I will be
If you look at me now you will only see
A tortured soul who has lost her way
If you look at me now I may always stay
Lost in these shadows I wish to flee
Never to live the life that’s written for me
Ever doomed to a future shrouded in grey
A shuffling figure clad in cast off shoes
So turn away quickly and turn away now
To watch me fail would be a cruel abuse
I will transform in secret if you will allow
Because to lose my way is my way to lose
So I turn to success, and success takes a bow
© Jane Paterson Basil
Making it write 
Good one and you managed a chiasmus too. Impressive.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. It was easier than I expected, but now I’ve seen a couple of good ones, and I think maybe I should have spent more time on it…
LikeLike
Good write, though the ones who want to hide are most often the most interesting to look at
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Funnily enough, it was inspired by the way I was feeling a year ago, when my life was in shreds. I went and hid in a tent in a woodland for six months, an when I came back I felt renewed. https://janebasilblog.wordpress.com/2015/01/21/her-wild-boar-wood-adventure/
LikeLike
I for one am glad you came out, you’re a really interesting person.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. I have never thought of myself as such, but maybe I am after all.
I love your gravatar image. Somehow it makes me feel as if we are talking face-to-face.
LikeLike
Oh my… That resonates with me on soooo many levels. Can’t say anything else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It doesn’t surprise me to learn that. I feel that kind of connection to you.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Old souls seem to find each other even across the pond, eh?
LikeLiked by 1 person
So it would seem.
I wasn’t expecting friendship when I started blogging.
LikeLike
But you meet so many great people on here. It really does become a neighborhood after awhile. It seems such a counterpoint to what I hear about Facebook and Twitter, neither of which I do. I know you’re suppose to hook all those things up, but that’s not my cup of tea. I just like it HERE.
LikeLiked by 1 person
On the recommendation of Blogging 101 I hooked this up to facebook, and my friends have taken very little interest. Having said that, I don’t pay much attention to Facebook anyway. It can be a useful campaigning tool, but in general it’s a rather silly vehicle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
I just related to this on so many levels I was breathless for a minute…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for that, but I’m sorry I stole your breath.
LikeLike
Oh no! Don’t be sorry! I love it when I am so touched by poetry or other written things. It’s such a gift. In fact, I’ve started writing some of the poems from folks I know on here in my journal. I always ask first. Do you mind if I keep it? It’s one I’ll read over and over again just because I feel that same way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo (or rather: brava)! I like how this sonnet plays on the idea of looking at and/or averting one’s eyes away from the speaker. It adds another layer of reversal to the actual/textual chiasmus you introduced.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you Ben. It’s been fun… except for the Found poetry. For me that was like washing up after a lovely meal, before getting back to a good conversation.
LikeLike
Yes, yes! Whatever all that means! This is by far my favorite poem of all that I’ve read the last couple weeks. Jane did an amazing job.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is probably the biggest compliment I have ever received, Calen.
I am the figure shuffling in cast-off shoes with a belief that I could be so much more, but the outside world presses in, and would suffocate me if I didn’t have this blog. Secret words hidden on my office programme were getting me nowhere. The support from this community is changing my life, and giving me the focus and the confidence to do what I have to do.
LikeLike
You just needed to know you’re not alone. How I wish the whole world could feel the deep connections I see happening within this blogging platform.
Your writing will be your salvation, Jane.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have just trashed your last comment as I was about to reply. It’s the second time I’ve done this today, It keeps happening, and I don’t know what I’m doing to cause it.
LikeLike
Oh, I get that. I’m blond, too. Just figure it goes with the territory. It was just something about how you needed to know you weren’t alone and that writing will probably be your salvation.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s proving to be, with a little help from my friends…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. That word is much appreciated!
LikeLike
Looks like you found your way with this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another wonderful poem and a beautiful portrait of a fragile spirit
LikeLiked by 1 person