In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Twenty-Five.”
Maybe this is greedy – I have already used the Daily post’s writing prompt once today, but I suddenly felt inspired to write a post leaving out two vowels. So This post should really be called “Twenty-Four”.
you hid your growth for so long
shimmying on childhood’s holy ground
no proof of lost boyhood showing
now with cloth of smoke you shroud your youthtruth folds within you, hiding in your lost soul
your surly thoughts poison your mind
now, forging unborn horror, you go
down low, down into thick, sticky mud-slick dirtif I could find within your blind-fold mind
your pot of gold, willingly I would burnish it
I would throw your surly untruths, told to you by fools
into oblivion to rot; to blot out your hurt.© Jane Paterson Basil
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Writing without an a or an e! Good job! It would be very hard to write without those 2!
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Thank you. I thought I may try a poem using only O and U and leaving A, E and I, but maybe that’s a step too far!
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It seems to me that it would be beyond challenging! 🙂
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Powerful piece and without two vowels is just stunning. Fine mind you have and poignant work this is. Well done.
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Thank you! Sometimes a constraint like that helps to keep me focused
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Not quite got it yet. There’s an e in the very last word. It amazes me how you can keep that in mind and write a poem at the same time. The poem was excellent, btw.
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It seems that i lose concentration right at the end, and when I check it over, i lose concentration again. Looking at that last sentence, I don’t know how I can get rid of the E!
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You got it! Good job!!! You know it helps if you proofread it backwards. That’s what they taught us in our shorthand transcription class. That’s because even if you leave ltters out of wrds, whn you read thm yur mind wil suply the mising ones. So you read it backwards ’cause your mind can’t process that in the same way. I catch more typos that way.
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Thanks – I’ll do that in future.
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So do you write the poem first and then adapt it to the lack of letters?
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With this one I wrote a list of words and phrases. I wrote them down, and then read through them to see what they suggested to me.
They suggested a lost youth.
Maybe I should try the same exercise, but make the poem about the circus the next time, just to see if I can.
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Sorry I deserted you last night. I crashed and had to go to bed. I would LOVE to see one about the circus!
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Unfortunately I’ve shelved it for the moment, because I’m writing a poem which will probably be called “Oh You”‘ It won’t have A, E or U in it, but I’m relying on you to double check!
I lost all my inspiration after the poetry course, because I went back to writing without constraints, and I think I need them to focus.
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Really? That’s so very interesting to me. I felt so stifled in that environment. Do the constraints make you feel safer, too?
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Ooh! A little bit of psychology here? It hadn’t occurred to me, but yes, I think so. It’s harder to rant and embarrass myself if my pallette is limited – though sometimes rants can work, as with “No longer human”.
But all poetry is constrained.That must be why it works for me. I’m unruly by nature, and it reins me in a little.
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I’m that way, too, but I think for me I spent so much time falling in line with what everyone else wanted that I reached a saturation point and just couldn’t do it anymore. I need to be “wild” now to survive, I think. No, probably to thrive. I’ve BEEN surviving all along. I really fought the idea of having a focus for my blog. There was this HUGE NO that welled up inside me. You?
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I noticed a conversation in which you made your feeling clear!
I didn’t enjoy school, because I didn’t fit in, and didn’t ‘get’ it, but now I know where I want to go, I really enjoyed it, and learnt a lot. It gave me some of the tools I need to reach people who are sliding into the jaws of addiction, and their loved ones. This is my mission, but I can allow myself to have fun on the way., and after a long, painful struggle, I’m finally enjoying my life.
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That’s so good to hear. You’ll need that creative restoration if you’re to follow the quest you’re on. Alrighty! I’m off to do some chores. Have a good day or night, which ever it is over there.
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Oh! On the comment I made did I come across as ornery about it all? That worries me now as I certainly didn’t mean to… Oh dear.
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Not at all! Please don’t think that. I smiled when i read it. It made me realise something about myself, and that’s always interesting.
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just wow…more for the content of the poem than the constraint 🙂
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Thankyou! I think constraints often add wieght to the content, because I have to be more focused.
Today I’m having a go at a poem with only two vowels – O and U. This is fun!
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How wonderful! I should have tried to be more creative with my post.
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Thank you. I find it inspiring to have that sort of constraint.
I tried to check out your post, but I couldn’t find it.
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Yes, I am quite unsure how to link change it so that it links to my current blog. I will have to play around with it to see. You did, however, find me yesterday and commented on my post. I look forward to seeing what else you write.
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I must have reached it from the daily prompt. Did you mention your dog?
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