Frightened and Alone

A gaunt stranger came knocking at my door. She looked a bit like Laura so I let her in. Eyes blank but for a haunted hint of some unknown horror, and with an aura of absence, she stared ahead and remotely she spoke.

I can’t go back to Pete’s, I have to get away

Please tell me where it’s safe for me to stay”

I asked her if my answer would suffice

because she rarely acts upon my advice

but she told me again that she had to leave

I looked at her face and I didn’t believe

that she really intended to carry it through

but I gave her the advice which she already knew

you’ll be safe with you father if you mean what you say”

she told me she’d ring him straight away

that she had no heroin and was ready to cluck

she was staring at the wall in that distracted way

as she stood up and told me that she couldn’t stay

because she had to go back to Pete’s and apologise

because he was probably feeling traumatised

so you’re not getting clean.” I heard myself say

no, I don’t really feel like going away.

I’ll go back to Pete’s and I’ll go to bed.

I’m not getting clean,” my daughter said.

Half-an-hour later Pete rang me. Laura had climbed into his bed and started trying to kiss him. He turned his back on her. She stabbed him in the neck with an 8 inch kitchen knife. She was trying to kill him. He didn’t want to ring the police because he was afraid she may go to prison for attempted murder. In addition to that, some weeks ago she made erroneous statement against him to the police, and he is out on bail. One of his bail conditions is that he is not to have any contact with Laura. She kept going round to his place begging until he let her in. I explained that he was unlikely to get into trouble over that, because the police understand the situation with Laura.

I told him that if he didn’t make the call, I would, and I have done that. I consider that she is a danger to herself and others, and this was the only safe thing to do. I have never seen her looking quite the way she did tonight. During the brief time she was here, it wasn’t Laura but a monster. I think she has found a new legal high which is even more devastating than the previous one.

These days I don’t scare easily.

I’m frightened, and I feel very alone.

© Jane Paterson Basil


4 thoughts on “Frightened and Alone

  1. Oh Jane… I am so very sorry. Where is Laura now? Did he call the police? Dear girl it seems it never ends for you. Email me if you get a sec and tell me how you are. Love & Hugs!!! Lots of ’em. {{{Jane}}}

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I called the police. They’re still looking for her, but she probably won’t come here, because she knows what I did, and I wouldn’t let her in because I may be at risk.
      I’ll email you once I’ve covered up this post with something fresh, unless it all goes crazy again, and I’m unable to. xxx


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