Not Always Pleasant

Today Jake Waller paid me the compliment of dedicating a poem to me. You can Check it out here. It’s great. When you’ve read that one, I recommend you take a stroll around the rest of his work. He’s the man!

His subject matter inspired me to write a poem, and I dedicate it to him.

I’m sorry I didn’t manage a rap, Jake.

pheasant 1

oh it’s very pleasant to be a pheasant
when spring is in the air
forcing coy little hens to be my friends
without an earthly care
increasing my harem with little decorum
and pecking them if they dare
attempt to escape from the viscious rape
that is every cock’s private affair

playing chicken with traffic is rather terrific
if the driver adheres to the rules
indulge if you dare but you have to beware
because most human beings are fools
instead of braking they’ll try overtaking
and end up with more than your jewels
leaving tracks on our wings and blood on our backs
turning pheasants into ghouls

p.s.
though they’re great in the sack, hens tend to lack
an essential sense of direction
they lay eggs in deep grass, then forget their task
though the eggs need constant protection
and when they attempt to return to the nest
the nest is beyond their detection
so don’t roll in the grass or you may find your arse
gets smeared with an addled confection

p.p.s.
now, the hunter may think this behaviour stinks
but what makes him the judge?
he grabs his mighty gun for sadistic fun
and he turns our hearts to sludge
if he did it for the sake of a meal on his plate
perhaps we wouldn’t carry such a grudge
but he does it in his leisure for his grisly pleasure
and that’s what grates so much.

© Jane Paterson Basil

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5 thoughts on “Not Always Pleasant

  1. Jane I am so honoured!! Thank you so much for the shout out and for such a magnificent poem! It’s hilarious and meaningful in a way you seem to manage effortlessly 🙂 your writing is far too good for misogynistic rap anyway, I’m glad I took the hit there 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your generous words. I’m always amazed when my writing receives praise, particularly the humour. To be told that my writing is hilarious and meaningful is the most wonderful compliment. For what it’s worth, I’m pretty impressed with your writing too.

      I used to punch people who offended me (only boys, I didn’t hit other girls because you don’t hit girls) or hold their feet and make them walk through the village on their hands – yes, I really did that to someone once. I was ten and he was thirteen, and he’d thought he could get away with being rude to me because I was smaller than him, and a girl.) I got the reputation of being someone you didn’t mess with. But in the end I realised the pen is mightier etc., and if you add humour it confuses the enemy. But anyway, viewed from a certain angle, most things in life can be made to appear funny, and laughter eases tension.

      I don’t like cock pheasants and I think the hens are stupid, but it’s not their fault, and it sickens me when people snuff out sentient beings for pleasure.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome 🙂 we seem to have come to the agreement, through various comments now, that we like each other’s writing, and that mutual appreciation is a nice position to be in!

        I get so much more out of your writing because of the rich context and backstory you often provide, and now this one is no exception. Fascinating to hear your thoughts and your tough childhood ways! Laughter is indeed a good medicine, and sometimes a positive outlook is half the battle on solving a problem.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. These days a lot of what goes on in my head is rap, and It feels like something which could become an addiction. I really want to rap, but I don’t want to forget how to do everything else. That’s why I wrote a sonnet the other day.

      Like

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