when i
was young
and almost
beautiful
men
wolf-whistled, blew me kisses, called me darlin’
it didn’t
make me loved
and it didn’t
make me valid
but for a moment
i felt less alone
©Jane Paterson Basil
when i
was young
and almost
beautiful
men
wolf-whistled, blew me kisses, called me darlin’
it didn’t
make me loved
and it didn’t
make me valid
but for a moment
i felt less alone
©Jane Paterson Basil
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Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
Oh my…
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Sheesh… You got me all teary here…
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I’ve just re-read it. I see what you mean…
For me, loneliness was a thing way down inside, an awareness of not belonging in the way that others did – demonstrated by the girls around me, while the boys wouldn’t leave me alone. But there were compensations. The trees were always welcoming, and there were always reasons to laugh.
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Just so poignant. You are such a good writer ❤️
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Thank you Janni. That’s a lovely thing to be told xx
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Lovely 😊….xox
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What a thoughtful poem. Good thoughts.
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It was inspired by a friend who said she had always been invisible to men. It got me thinking.
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A lovely, poignant poem, Jane. Feels very true, that final sentiment. 🙂
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I think most of us are probably lonely, deep down.
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If you think about these things too deeply, we’re all alone in our own heads and how much do we know anyone or ourselves? All we can do is distract ourselves from it all. Let’s go hug some trees 🙂
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I went through long periods when I was younger, of making my brain hurt by trying to work out who I was, and when I turned my thoughts to others, it was even more mind-boggling. Thank God for adulthood.
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I make a point of stumbling through life, metaphorical fingers in ears, going la-la-la at the deeper questions. The method has served me well so far 🙂
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This may shock you – I do that when I’m somewhere with a TV, and the news is on.
I have told all of my family and friends that if they see something bad on the news, and I can do something to help to put it right, they must tell me.
When I was 50 I looked less than 45. At 55 I was catching up. Now, at 60, I look at least 65. If i watched the news I’d probably have age another couple of years by now. It may sound feeble, but what I see all around me is as much as I can cope with.
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It’s not feeble at all. I whole heartedly agree. Much of the stream of woe pedalled as ‘news’ is awful, but nothing we can do anything about. What is the point in listening to some of it? If there’s a drought on the other side of the world and I can send money to help – fantastic. If there’s some poor soul tragically lost their family in a car crash over the other side of the world, there’s probably little I can do to help. There’s a certain amount of voyeurism with these things, a certain amount of glee that both the reporters and other people show when relaying these stories. I lost count of the times a particular member of staff at my work came to me saying ‘Did you hear about … ?’ then told me with great relish about some horror story she’d seen on the news. What good does it do to the victim, or to me?
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Many people have a need to witness pain and suffering. My son showed me footage of one of the X Factor’s “funniest” bits on YouTube the other night. It was horrible. This guy did a dance. He believed he was good. Cheryl Cole was REALLY nasty, and he responded badly. When he went off stage, Ant and Deck talked him down and suggested he go back on and apologise. He did that, and the panel deliberately wound him up again. He was hurt, angry and humiliated. I expect that bitch would say something like “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen,” or excuse herself by telling us that it’s kinder to stop him wasting his time with something he’s no good at. That’s all crap. They deliberately bring up bad acts for the sake of satisfying the blood-lust of the studio audience and the viewers, and they lap it up! It’s sick.
Good TV!
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Yes, you’re quite right. We started watching X Factor in the first year, I think, but soon became very uncomfortable with the ‘freak show’ element. It’s like being back in the Roman amphitheatre, baying for blood. Some of the contestants I suspect have mental health problems, too and as you say, the humiliation is just horrific. I think there’s something slightly wrong with Cheryl Cole, though (as Simon Cowell). To think it’s okay to treat people like that just because it’s an entertainment show and you’re being paid a lot of money – it’s not just TV for some of those contestants, it’s everything. I won’t watch any of thise shows now.
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I think there’s something wrong with gun-runners, drug cartels and evil sods who beat up vulnerable people in the streets because their homeless, or because they’re gay, or because they can. I put Cheryl Cole, Simon Cowell and a few others on so called “reality TV in the same category as all of the above. Greedy if they do it for the money and sadistic if they do it for pleasure.
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Greedy sadists, then? It just seems they have no empathy for the vulnerable people that come on the show. Cheryl was an ‘ordinary’ girl plucked form obscurity because she looked the part- you’d think she’d remember what it’s like to be desperate, to want something so badly, it skews your vision.
Some people have short memories
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Some people have no compassion. She probably remembers but she doesn’t care, because she’s made it.
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I suspect you’re right. A charming woman
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