Victim of vanity

This week, for the Esther Newton Weekly Writing Challenge, Esther has given a word prompt. The word is FEAR.


Oh Doctor, dear Doctor don’t question my sanity
I know it’s unwise but I’m a victim of vanity
I kept myself young for three hundred years
until your predecessor’s news confirmed all my fears
I’d been under the knife far too many times
and he’d almost lost count of his ethical crimes
I’d had jobs on my breasts, my legs and my nose
he’d stretched all the skin from my head to my toes
and it wasn’t just once or even just twice
but frequently, against the wisest advice
it came as a shock, though not a surprise
when he looked deep into my new glass eyes
and declared that my flesh was worse than shoddy
and the skin which had hidden one inch of my body
now stretched over the whole of the plain
and he said if he tried to stretch it again
it would probably rip and my works would fall out
and next time I couldn’t rely on grout
I know it was wrong of me when I insisted
and I know the late doctor should have resisted
I’ll always regret his untimely demise
when he slipped on one of my fallen glass eyes
I’ll always be grateful for your quick thinking
when you scooped up my skull just as I was sinking

I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again
you saved my life when you preserved my brain
it’s not too bad in this pretty jar
with my new glass eyes I can see quite far
but there is one thing that’s getting me down
I see that my grey matter’s turned a greeny brown
and I fear that no man will want to woo me
if greeny-brown grey matter is all that they see
and I’d like a nice new colour to keep up with fashion…
they tell me shocking pink ignites men’s passion

©Jane Paterson Basil


14 thoughts on “Victim of vanity

    1. LOL! People always think that about me. When I used to go to festivals I’d get into a lot of conversations with strangers, and time after time I’d hear something like “I wish I was on what you’re doing.” There I was, surrounded by alcohol and all sorts of drugs, people wasted all around me, and they thought I was high! I never touch any of it – drugs or alcohol. I don’t want drugs and I wouldn’t risk alcohol. I get drunk on fresh air and atmosphere, and it doesn’t take much of it!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. There have been times when I have looked at all those messed up people and I’ve thought “Why don’t I just join them?” I could spend the rest of my life in a haze, hurting and scaring others the way I have been hurt and scared for so many years.
          But there must be something wrong with me, because I just don’t fancy it, somehow!

          Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Esther. I had trouble finishing it, because when I got to the line that begins “but frequently” I remembered a song I used to hear on the folk circuit, about a large woman who got her bottom stuck to a toilet seat, and I couldn’t stop laughing! When the plumber comes to remove the seat from the ladies rear end, he’s asked “Have you ever seen anything like this before? and the plumber replies “Why, frequently, but never framed!”

      Liked by 1 person

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