Always there for me

three weeks clean
no pain of waiting, hidden
in unlit lanes, for sleazy meetings
with hooded dealers
no needles
no more the game of shame
and ignominious endings

but every day she is there
she is always there
the deadly witch, weaving pictures
sprinkling the image before my eyes
of glittering, golden brown powder
as she whispers
only this will lift your spirits
only this
God in highest heaven
give me the strength not listen
please help me; blind me
from the sight of her shimmering hell

three years clean
no needles
no pain of waiting, hidden
in unlit lanes, for sleazy meetings
with hooded dealers
no more the game of shame
and ignominious endings

no more does she weave pictures
or sprinkle the image before my eyes
of glittering, golden brown powder
or whisper
only this will lift your spirits
only this

every day
she was there for me
she was always there for me
but no more. I expelled her
the witch is dead

©Jane Paterson Basil

Posted for Esther Newton’s Monday Motivations

Shine

A Hidden Ember

when I am broken
my protective shell smashed on
the bleached sands of all lost things
my sticky innards beached and caked with grit
frightened, squeamishly wriggling
while silence screams lies in my ear

and someone makes a remark, which
leads to a thought, which
leads to a smile, and
I give a laughing retort.

I sparkle and shine when everything
lies in pieces around me
and without a tiny tap on the funny bone
I may expire.

<><><>

Sparkle and Shine

nobody
knows me
like my siblings do
we share our first
remembered
history

beneath
the waste of all which
has since been
a hidden ember glows, and
sometimes when we speak
we are one again, unchanged
though age has bent us

and familiarity
sends a spark from the
ancient fire of childhood
setting us aflame with merriment
it is then that we shine
we turn dark into light
we sparkle and
we shine

Written for Calen’s Sandbox Challenge

©Jane Paterson Basil