Always there for me

witch-908939

three weeks clean
no pain of waiting, hidden
in unlit lanes, for sleazy meetings
with hooded dealers
no needles
no more the game of shame
and ignominious endings

but every day she is there
she is always there
the deadly witch, weaving pictures
sprinkling the image before my eyes
of glittering, golden brown powder
as she whispers
only this will lift your spirits
only this
God in highest heaven
give me the strength not listen
please help me; blind me
from the sight of her shimmering hell

three years clean
no needles
no pain of waiting, hidden
in unlit lanes, for sleazy meetings
with hooded dealers
no more the game of shame
and ignominious endings

no more does she weave pictures
or sprinkle the image before my eyes
of glittering, golden brown powder
or whisper
only this will lift your spirits
only this

every day
she was there for me
she was always there for me
but no more. I expelled her
the witch is dead

©Jane Paterson Basil

Posted for Esther Newton’s Monday Motivations

Advertisements

27 thoughts on “Always there for me

    1. thank you Anton. Over 2,500 words added to my story today, and three poems blogged. It’s helping me to understand a lot of things. Some of them are painful, but it’s like pulling out rotten teeth. I feel better for it. I don’t remember when I last felt this happy.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I was staring out of the window as the sunset changed the sky from pink and blue streaks to scarlet, then to a deep rusty red and burnt orange, until it deepened to an ignominious brown.
      The sky reached out and handed me the word…

      Liked by 2 people

  1. So wonderful to hear about your son, Jane. And your writing too – all this sunshine must be bringing out some hyper creativity in you! I’m glad you finished the poem positively – things can change, it’s tough going, but they can x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There have been times when I have thought all hope was lost. I don’t know whther I would have been able to cope with this story if things hadn’t begun to turn around. As it is, I have to force myself to stop each evening. Today I wrote 4,600 words, and I’m afraid that if I don’t pace myself I’ll burn out.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow! NaNoWriMo only expect 1,600 odd words – you’re beating them into a cocked hat! It’s difficult – when the words are coming so easily, it seems a shame to try and reign yourself in. We’re all paranoid we’ll lose it if we don’t use it, aren’t we? I know sleep can be a tricky issue for you anyway, but just so long as you’re not losing anymore and you’re eating and taking regular breaks … Go with it 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s