Just another day. Part 2

He thinks I’ve thrown his “weed” out of the window, but I haven’t, and it’s not weed, it’s spice. If he stays here he can’t have it back. If he goes to look for it, I won’t let him back in. He’s not going to abuse me with his broken promises and stinking chemicals any more.

©Jane Paterson Basil

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22 thoughts on “Just another day. Part 2

    1. Survival is better than nothing. I’ve been thinking a lot about the men in the trenches during the 1st world war. My life is better than that, and I probably won’t fall face first into a mess of blood and guts.
      Still, life is not a lot of fun right now, and Paul ddn’t go chasing after his bag of filth. He’s banging around in my bedroom on the offchance that it’s in there, which it is, unfortunately.

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  1. Have you ever read Siegfried Sassoon’s poems
    about the First World War?
    Amazing.
    ” Horror of wounds and anger at the foe,
    and loss of things desired; all these must pass.
    We are the happy legion, for we know
    Time’s but a golden wind that shakes
    the grass.”

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  2. Sigh, I guess the thing about it is that the tough love you provide is the what he needs. But at the same time it takes tremendous effort to provide that love doesn’t it? I would love to tell you that you are strong and will see yourself and him through it, but I also know how very dreadful it is for people to compliment your strength in the moments when you are treading life’s waters. So I offer you a hug, even across the distance, and pray for your triumph and his, through this one.

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          1. I only feel isolated when my internet isn’t working (which happens for hours every day at the moment, for some reason) and I’m too paranoid to face my neighbours – who probably don’t have a problem with me – and I try to fight that.

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            1. Let’s hope for keeping that internet connection going 🙂 Neighbours are a funny thing – we have good neighbours, but I still hide from them some days so I don’t have to stop and have a conversation. Anti social baggage that I am 🙂

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              1. I’ve been really brave today. I went down to the community hall which is attached to these flats and watched a film. There’s a cinema club once a week, and i have never been to it. There are all sorts of activities, and I never attend anyof them, partly because most of them don’t interest me, but also because the idea of walking into the hall terrifies me. I did it on the spur of the moment, and refused to let myself back down. I sat with a lovely young woman who rarely leaves her flat, because she is bi[olar, and that’s how it affects her.
                I’m no different to anyone. They all have their troubles.

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                1. Ah, well done you! It is tough, facing those social situations when you’re feeling small and wee inside. I remember forcing myself to mother and baby groups when my son was small – I often spent the entire couple of hours sitting on my own, watching the world spin round me. Or so it felt. It’s good to make contact though – being with others can help

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                  1. You? Do you have difficulty in those situations? I used to dread mother and baby groups, then i got to know a woman who was always on her own. She was intelligent and we got on fine until I suggested that we didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the group. She had said so herself, but when I mentioned it she went off me and somehow managed to enveigle herself into a group of two or three women. I was mortified. Ha! I’d forgotten all about that.
                    Do we write because we’re odd, or are we odd because we write?

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                    1. Haha! Write because we’re odd, definitely! Neither husband or I quite feel as if we fit in – slight social numpties. I was lucky in that I eventually found two other women at the play group who are a bit odd too, our kids got an and we’re still friends. They are pretty much the only friends I have – but they’re good ones. I’ve been out with other people in social situations and felt like I’m play acting the whole time – wondering why other people find something so funny when it clearly isn’t (in my view). I’m ok when I get to really know someone. Ah, well, social awkwardness helps push us towards the screen, eh?

                      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m getting there, and as for medical back-up, should I need it – and I think I may be getting close to that point – my doctor calls me in every two weeks to check on me. I think that helps a little.

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