I thought I was an acrobat

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I thought I was an acrobat
I thought I was a tree
I thought I was all kinds of things
that people want to be

I thought I was a rubber band
I thought I was a gnome
I thought I was a hungry vagrant
looking for a home

I thought I was a Goddess
I thought I was a whore
I wished I was the simple child
that I had been before

I thought I was an actor
miming fiction on a stage
I thought I was an oracle
devining next week’s page

I thought I was a spider
I thought I was a fly
I thought I was immortal
I feared that I may die

I thought I was a genius
I thought I was a fool
I thought perhaps I needed to
begin again at school

I thought that I had choices
I thought I was a dream
or maybe just a humble pawn
in a Greek God’s scheme

I thought I was a prisoner
I thought that I was free
and then I had a sudden thought
that maybe I was me

a complex combination
of everything I knew
every teaching, every thought
and everything I do

©Jane Paterson Basil

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30 thoughts on “I thought I was an acrobat

        1. That’s a difficult question to answer, because I don’t know. I’m socialising a lot, and when I’m with other people I feel almost like a normal member of society, but when I’m at home I occasionally see people who aren’t there. I’ve been on the sick since May and I told my doctor about the halucinations, and though I said I knew they weren’t there she suggested I see a psychiatrist. I see him next week.
          I had a medical assessment to see whether I was fit to return to work. Mere inability to work would not have been a good enough excuse to stay on the sick, so I think they decided I’m crazy, because they have upped my benefits, but I’m not crazy, just anxious. Some days are better than others, but sometimes it’s hard to push away the pain. I expect things will be better when I finish editing the book.
          Thanks, Alan, for asking.

          Liked by 1 person

  1. Is it only women who try to mould themselves to please others? Compliant, smiley, pleasant, no trouble. I’ve been very guilty of this and still am I think. It’s too well ingrained now to change.
    Very true feel to it, Jane X

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Fred Rogers was a Presbyterian pastor who was one of the biggest advocated for children ever. He was so low key and into helping kids feel their feelings. Bran loved him. I think that’s one reason Bran’s such a good communicator. He would have loved our poem!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Well! I opened your link and was almost hypnotised by your Fred Rogers. What a lovely, lovely man, and so tuned into children’s feelings. I’ve favorited the link, so I can go back to it. Thank you for that lovely gift.

          Liked by 2 people

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