If I could

Written for Calen’s Sandbox Challenge

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If I could erase anything from my persona
I would be without this sickness of spirit .
the fear, constantly digging into me.
the indignation which inflates into rage
whenever my daughter tries
to push her brother to destruction.
I would sling from my sight
the impurity of my desire for her imprisonment;
I would throw out
my pathetic impotence against the beloved enemy
as she wields her filthy weapons
in an effort to kill everything in her vicinity.

©Jane Paterson Basil

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18 thoughts on “If I could

  1. Oh Jane, I am so sorry. It is hard enough when one child is in bad shape, but two with one coercing the other? I don’t know how you keep it together. I am guessing your beautiful but gut wrenchingly emotional writing helps a little. Know you have readers that while we can’t physically help, we do care deeply and always hope for the best for you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Just knowing you are there helps more than you can imagine. It gives me the strength to stay calm and take whatever positive action I can, even when that action is tough love. My son has been clean for the past few weeks, and it may not have happened without my help – help which I would not have been able to give without the support of the blogosphere.
      There seems to be nothing I can do for my daughter – she’s out of reach. It’s as if she is possessed. She’s doing her utmost to destroy Paul. I believe she wants him dead, though if he killed himself she’d try to get sympathy by running around telling people she can’t go on without him. She’s a dangerous woman, and I’m doing my utmost to keep her away from him. (not that he wants to see her) He’s physicallly ill, and has been feeling suicidal. He’s going to be ok though – he just needs to build up his strength.
      Thank you for your kind words – they really do mean a lot to me xx

      Liked by 1 person

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