#atozchallenge Diary

AD

I scan the pages,
all blank but for a date
boldly heading every page,
there is no hint of that unwritten history.
I bauked at recording each crisis as it happened,
as if by keeping it from these virgin sheets I could conceal it,
make it less real, and therefore easier to forget,
to slip back into previous days of possibility;
but time has revealed that every detail
is indelibly burnt inside my head,
like those happier times;
all, all of them gone.
If I had written the facts
every day, as they happened,
I could have boxed up my diary,
locked it up, hidden it far away,
but it would only have been a photocopy.
I have the original, unwritten manuscript.
I carry it always inside my brain,
the ink still drying on a label
bearing the legend
“times past.”
Dust may gather;
I will not wipe it away,
and, though now and again,
unwelcome memories may drip through
I will be stern, and turn them away.
They will not get a grip on me.
I will not bare my scars
as if they they still
pustulate and fester.
I will stand tall,
move with the moment,
and prepare for my next tomorrow,
whatever it may bring.

©Jane Paterson Basil

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11 thoughts on “#atozchallenge Diary

    1. It’s true, most of the time. The majority of stuff written in journals probably wouldn’t make very interesting reading, and some of it would be just plain embarrassing to look back on…

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  1. We can’t erase the ‘diary’ of our lives – real or imaginary. The past makes us and is alwalys their, written in out characters. But yes, moving forward, knowing you have a future and don’t just have to relive the past over and over again – that’s what makes us brave. And you are very, very brave, Jane.
    Prepare for your next tomorrow 🙂

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