10 ways to get your son to leave.


1. Ask him to stay a bit longer.

2.  Give him all your cash.

3. Tell him that if he goes outside he’ll probably be devoured by a man-eating she devil who will take his money and his sanity.

4. Invite your brother over.

5. Tell him they’re giving away money at the bank, but they close in fifteen minutes.

6. Tell him the police are on their way.

7. Try to have a reasonable conversation about his future, or give him some useful advice.

8. Throw his wallet out of the window.

9. Set fire to your home.

10. Throw him out of the window.


See also: Ten ways to get your son to visit you.

NB. Free with this post! A bonus Way To Get Your Son To Visit You:

  • Borrow a phone off someone, call your number, and when he answers, tell him that if he doesn’t return your phone within fifteen minutes you’ll phone the police. Mean it.


©Jane Paterson Basil


21 thoughts on “10 ways to get your son to leave.

                1. These walls have ears – I can only say it may be somewhere local, or a city about 80 miles away, or Spain.
                  I’m staying with a relative in this town tonight. Whatever I do, I don’t plan to hide out for long, but who knows?

                  Liked by 2 people

      1. It is so hard to love someone in a way that is healthy for both of you. Good job Jane. You are getting more self supportive. Pat yourself on the back, your surface feelings of hiding are supported by the fact that you are making steps toward emotional distance from him. Not an easy thing to do. Hugs.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s