Closing off the power

door-lock-391436__480.jpg

A text from Krusti’s phone;
“It’s Paul, please answer.”

I translate;
Hi mum, I need to see you
to offer hollow reassurance;
to speak of love and great futures;
to grovel and apologise.
I will offer you the richest slice
of my phoney dream;
I will promise you unbuilt castles
and fruit that I shall never pick;
I will say whatever I must
to make you jump,
and if my well-planned words
don’t persuade you to empty your wallet
into my outstretched hand,
I will find another way.

I pick up the phone
A light pressure from my thumb
closes off the power.

the sun sets.
my candle glows dim,
painting a subtle tint on the wall.
I sit on the floor, writing and listening
to the sounds of the town.
I hear Paul talking to someone outside.
the doorbell rings.
there’s no pause in the rhythm
of fingers on keys.
Paul speaks to someone who agrees
that I don’t appear to be in.

His companion is only half right;
I am in, but
I don’t appear.

The Daily Post #Jump

©Jane Paterson Basil

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37 thoughts on “Closing off the power

    1. No – I live in a block of flats where we are not supposed to hand out keys without good reason.
      If he walks into the building behind another resident, and knocks on my door, the police have told me I should ring them.

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        1. It has some distinct disadvantages, in the form of neighbours with no lives and no imaginations. They’re like extractor fans, sucking in gossip and releasing it into the air, to blow onto all who pass.

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        1. Thank you. I don’t feel brave – I’m past caring. I can’t take the horror, or his nastiness any more. I won’t run away – I’ll ignore him. In a couple of days I’ll probably switch the light on in the evening, so he’ll know I’m here.
          If he survives, he may learn that in order to reach me he must make it worth my while.
          I’m still afraid he may die, but my presence can’t save him.

          Liked by 2 people

    1. Eassier than you may expect. I’ve suffered years of abuse from my son. 3 years ago he robbed me of every penny I owned, and left me in debt. Even after that, whenever I had money he would wrestle it from me. I was sometimes hungry, and always cold. I was in a damp flat throughout the winter, and I couldn’t afford heating. He even moved an armed crack dealer into my attic when I was at work. The dramas were constant and terrible, but the promises and lies were worse. Hope is a horrible thing,when it is dashed every time. I can’t take any more.

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        1. That’s what I want – to be known, warts and all.
          I want the mothers of addicts to look at me and say “She survived, so I can.” I want them to know there IS life after that moment when you curl up in a ball and scream, believing you will die from the pain. Though it may happen over and over, you can rise from it every time, and you can smile, even laugh again.
          Maybe I should make that into a poem…

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  1. Oh, love. So glad you were able to do this – he has driven you to it. No one can keep taking the abuse, the mistreatment without a response and this is yours. It’s self preservation – Paul seems determined to destroy himself, but he needn’t take you along with him. I’m so sorry, but still, well done 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

        1. She’ll get an official warning – and if I have my way, she’ll get a second one for letting Paul into the building and sending him up to me the other night when I was pretending to be out. He didn’t get into the flat, but we are unnder strict instructions not to let people into the building to see other residents without very good reason. Apparently he and his girlfriend were found asleep outside my door. I could have got the blame for that, but the supervisor didn’t tell me – obviously she didn’t want me worried.

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          1. Yes, absolutely awful that she let him in. I hate people who assume they know what’s right for you too. Just because someone is related to you, doesn’t mean you should have to see them, doesn’t mean they are good for you or you have to have them in your life. Interferring baggage. Let’s hope she gets that warning.

            Liked by 1 person

                1. When I first knew her I didn’t like her, but she decided we were friends, and over the years I got used to the idea. But she’s not someone I want around me, and she’s finally given me the opportunity to tell her how I feel. That’s something, at least 🙂

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                  1. Goodbye to bad rubbish. I found myself before, ‘friends’ with someone who made me feel bad while boosting her own self confidence. Fortunately I ‘escaped’, which sounds dramatic, but didn’t feel it at the time, she was so poisonous. We don’t need dross in our lives making feel like crap. I’m glad you’ve had this opportunity and taken it.

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