Self-deceit

over the years
I made believe
that the best way to heal
is to act like I’m well
to deceive myself
my family and friends
and now and again
my laughter felt real

it felt like progress
more than a lie
crushing my wish
to lay down and die

so it’s true it works
in a limited way
by helping me get
through difficult days

yet still at the root
at the core of my being
is a calcified canker
that hasn’t been healing

so I’ve ceased pretending
I’m doing well
and told my family
how I feel

they were there in the wings
and worried for me
now with their help
I’m sure to heal

The Daily Post #Pretend

This isn’t the time for careful, well-edited poetry…

©Jane Paterson Basil

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21 thoughts on “Self-deceit

  1. You don’t have to hold the world together for everyone, you know. Most of us know how to be stretcher bearers, but few of us really know how to be ON those stretchers gracefully, letting other people help carry the burden.

    Liked by 2 people

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