Pain in the Butt


What do you see when you look my way?
You see a sweet lady who’s a modern cliche.
She walks with apparent confidence and sway,
long locks hinting at a faint tint of grey.
Her face reveals traces of a prettier day,
and her curvy body shows no obvious decay
– one whose sell-by date may be a mile or two away.
You think I may savor the game you wish to play.

Well, get this mate, a lady’s what I ain’t,
I’m a woman with a history, so you’d better show restraint.
If I told you my story, it would put you in a faint.
But that is my business, I don’t wish to aquaint
you with the finer details of each tiny taint.
I’ve finished with my sinnin’, though I’ll never be a Saint.
If you wish to woo me, I must insist upon restraint.
I have a bow, some arrows, and a tin of war paint.

Stop sitting in my kitchen, drinking endless cups of tea,
describing all the things that you pretend to be.
Can’t you see it’s hard to tolerate your tiresome company?
You’re wasting your time with your fake empathy.
Don’t touch this body; get your hand off my knee.
You have to understand that I need to be free.
You simply don’t appeal, and here’s my final decree:
You can’t win my passion and you can’t have me.

This is an update of a poem I wrote some time back.I was going to submit it to a concrete poetry contest, and, with this in mind, I spent hours shaping it into an image, only to find thatΒ  my image editing tool no longer had a particular feature which would have enabled me to make the wording clearer. Unless I start again, I won’t be entering it after all, but it’s kinda pretty, so I’m posting it here – having edited it slightly, yet again.

Β©Jane Paterson Basil


53 thoughts on “Pain in the Butt

    1. He’s a pain. He keeps coming back, saying how it hurts, not seeing me, I told him that not seeing him doesn’t hurt me, but that’s not the point, apparently. I’ve even told him that if you love someone, you do what’s best for them, and what’s best for me is not having him in my face all the time. I’ve had a lifetime of doing what other people want, and I’m finished with it.
      He buys me chocolates, flowers, cream cakes, liquorice… I told him to stop trying to buy me, but he says he just wants to make me happy. Balloning out to 300lbs won’t make me happy. He wants to buy me clothes and shoes. I told him that if he does, I’ll take them to Oxfam. I HATE men buying me presents. It’s a form of control.
      Rant over!

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Haha! Short or long answer? I could write reams on it. Men either want to make you fat and unhealthy, or they want to buy you things for them to look at – clothes (the wrong clothes, AND new – I don’t wear new stuff) and jewellery. I don’t wear jewellery.
          For uears, my ex didn’t allow me to have money. He did all the shopping, and he bought my clothes. They were horrible. He bought me chocolates when I said I was giving chocolate up, and he filled the freezer with a butchered pig when I said I wasn’t going to eat meat any more.
          That’s the short answer… πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, be a bit of a pain having to teach him to read before he got the message! Yes, 2016 can bugger off – right royally. Let’s hope 2017 is kinder and sweeter and more hopeful for all. Take care dear Jane πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I feel optimistic about 2017, and I swear it has nothing to do with the peculiar appearance, last night, of an extremely attractive man on my sofa, declaring his love for me! I must be to blame for the peculiar and impractical things that happen – but I don’t understand how.
          I hope you have a wonderful, appropriate year, as I am trying hard to do.
          I expect I’ll turn my story into a cruel poem, as a way of protecting my virtue and independence πŸ™‚

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Haha! Well, who wouldn’t enjoy that experience? It makes a lovely change from the strange and unwanted attention you’ve been getting! Hope you have a good 2017 too Jane – some sunshine and positivity would be marvellous πŸ™‚

            Liked by 1 person

      1. Christmas was really nice – CE with extended family. First time ever we did Kris Kringle. So much better πŸ™‚ And CD we had at home with the kids. We were THE hottest capital city in the world that day at 41.3C. Didn’t step foot outside all day !

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I was writing in the dark, and not paying enough attention (sheepish grin). It’s one of the problems of having that stupid man living in the same block as me. Sometimes it’s easier just to pretend to be out.
      Thanks for pointing out the typos. I’ve corrected them. πŸ™‚


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