It’s 2.30am, and I should be in bed. I should leave this post for a time when I can express myself clearly, but I have to get it out there now. People are suffering and dying as a result of addiction, and I think I’ve found a unique way to help addicts.
It’s all thanks to my wonderful, compassionate WP friends. I hope you all know who you are. Ever since I started blogging I’ve been looking for a way to help addicts and their families. I’ve been convinced that there’s something I can do which hasn’t been done before. Maybe this has, but I’ve never seen it.
I’ll explain how you fantastic friends gave me the idea, and then I’ll tell you the plan.
From the very first time I began writing about my children’s addictions – and particularly Laura’s (that’s her in the picture), you have sent messages of love and support, often telling me that you will include both of us in your prayers. I’ve been sharing these messages with Laura, and they have meant a lot to her – more as time goes on, and her mental health improves – and along with it, an increasing desire to go into recovery. There have been hiccups along the way, but each one is less severe.
What I’m saying is, that she’s more well than she’s been for over three years. She’s even found herself a Guardian Angel of the human sort, right here in this town. He’s a wonderful man, father two six healthy children and a crazy amount of Grandchildren. This is all thanks to you, my amazing friends, and also quite a number of caring strangers who’ve dipped in and sent me beautiful messages.
I want to build a blog which the loved ones of addicts can connect with. They can tell their stories, send pictures, or not, as they wish. All they have to do is give the name of “their” addict – even a fake name would do, it will still represent the same person. Each name will go onto a list, and every family, friend – whatever – will pledge to focus on that group of addicts, every day, and do whatever they feel comfortable with – whether it is praying, or sending out a pink bubble, or simply thinking positive thoughts about that group of people.
Whatever they believe God to be, or if they are atheist or agnostic, it will work.
Whether they are Christian or Hindu, their God will hear them. But here’s the most wonderful thing – if they are atheist or agnostic, all the addicts on that list will benefit from your thoughts, provided they’re in touch with the donors (whoever put their name on the list), because THE DONORS WILL TELL THEM ABOUT IT, and the addicts will feel less isolated, more nurtured.
It’s aimed mainly at those addicts who wish to get clean, but need help to do so, but anybody will be welcomed into the fold.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about people with an addict in the family, it;’s that most of them hate addiction, and they’re not just concerned for their children, but for everybody else’s as well. They’ll genuinely care about everyone on the list, and everyone who is suffering because of addiction.
I know this can work. I know it will make a difference, but only if it is marketed properly.
I need:
- Someone who’s hot on publicity
- Someone to look after a Twitter account
- Someone to look after a FaceBook page
- Advice I can understand about tags, and stuff to do with attracting the right readers to my blog.
We all do our best to make our own blogs successful, but this is important. Lives are at stake. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Laura’s beauty returns a little every day. I want the kind of help that you have given her, to be given to addicts, everywhere. I want to facilitate that, but I can’t do enough without help and advice.
If you think that reblogging, or sharing anywhere else, may be useful, I’d be happy for you to do that.
I should add a contact form, but I never quite figured out how to do it, so it’ll have to wait for the moment.
Okay, Jane, be brave. Click publish.
©Jane Paterson Basil
What a wonderful idea Jane. I believe that it would be a helpful meeting point for those searching for such a community. All the best.
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Thank you Jaqueline – I’m getting quite excited about it – and scared. It’s a bit more involved than writing a few poems…
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Wonderful idea, Jane. And I think you’ll help yourself as you help others. Your daughter is adorable. I thought it was a photo of you in your teens or early twenties. Happy New Year.
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thank you Judy. Laura is adorable, though there’s another side to her. She has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder, and it’s frightening. but everything is going to be okay.
Happy New Year to you too.
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I’m not really able to help at the moment, but this is a beautiful idea. I really hope it makes a difference!
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Thank you for your lovely comment. Every thoughtful response nourishes me.
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Reblogged this on The Bag Lady and commented:
I don’t reblog often, but I like Jane’s blog and this is very important to her.
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Thank you so much for reblogging – it means such a lot to me.
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I’ll try to help any way I can.♡
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Thank you – you’re truly wonderful xxx
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Re logged on my site, hope it helps in some way.😌
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I know – I just saw it. I commented, but I have a feeling the comment went straight to my blog. Thank you, so much. It means such a lot to me.
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Great concept, I hope you can get it started. Unfortunately, my skills are quite limited in that area, but I do have a niece that could use prayers She’s been in rehab twice and I just don’t know anymore how she’s doing. She’s embarrassed and has pulled herself away from family, at least that’s how it seems even though we do text occasionally.
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Watch this space – I’ll be publicising the blog on here when I get it started. It would be great to have your niece on the list. I’ve made a note of your blog, too, so I can contact you.
I’ll do the best I can for your niece.
Hugs, Jane
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Thank you!!! I appreciate and will do my best to spread the word, once it gets off the ground the way you want to see it.
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And thank you for your faith in this venture.
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God sometimes puts a challenge on our path to offer us an opportunity to serve him in a big way. May God grant you the grace, the wisdom , the courage and the support to do this for him!
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Thank you! Your words inspire me, adding to my strength. I have a really good feeling about this.
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Thank God for the inspiration. We shall be there to encourage you to see this to fruition.
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I thank God, and I thank you for the path you have freely chosen.
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Hey Jane, I found this through Jacquie’s blog! For some reason I’m not getting notifications of your posts anymore. I’ve been wondering how you are. This sounds like a great idea. Anything I can do to help ? I’m not so great with the social media and IT stuff. But I will reblog !
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Thank you Raili – the more reblogs I get, the more likely I am to find the help that I need. This idea came to me in the middle of the night, and has been brewing for a few days. It’s what I’ve been waiting for, and it’s really important to me. People tell me their stories and I hate feeling so helpless. I want to help take their pain away. I have to.
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You’re following your intuition Jane. The urgency you feel is egging you on. Whatever help you need will come to you, I’m sure 🙂
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I think you’re right…
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Reblogged this on soulgifts – Telling Tales and commented:
Jane is a good friend with a big heart. I urge you to read and if you have any helpful hints, advice, want to help – get in touch with her.
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Hey, everybody! Raili is a good friend with an enormous heart
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What a fantastic idea Jane, I’m excited for you and for those I know you will help. For a one year, this is one great idea that is sure to work wonders! I hope all is good with you, missed you when you weren’t around. Happy New Year to you and the very best of luck with this project. xx
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Thank you Liza. I feel much better now that I have a direction. This idea seems so obvious I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I’ve been racking my brains for so long…
Happy New Year, friend. xxx
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I’m so pleased you have found your way, let me know at any stage if there is anything I can do to help you 😊 x
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Thank you Liza. I’ll bear that in mind xxx
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Reblogged this on Word Shamble and commented:
Reblogging this on behalf of WP friend, Jane. If anyone can give her help or advice, do contact her. All the best in your endeavours, Jane.
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Thank you Lynn, for reblogging and for being such a great friend. xxx
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My pleasure Jane. Very good luck with your new project – I’m sure it will help many people in need of understanding and support X
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I’m so confident about this project, Lynn…
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Hope it all goes brilliantly for you, Jane
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Thanks Lynn. It’ll take a few weeks to get up and running, as I’m doing a course on blogging, just so I can learn enough about SEO to get noticed on the search engines.
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Good luck with it. I’ve tried to get my head round SEO but failed so far. I do crop up on search engines now, but I think that might be through volume (560 + posts and counting) rather than my exper manipulation of these systems. Hope it goes well 🙂
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Thanks Lynn. I just have to keep my confidence up.
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🙂
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Reblogged this on Elaine's Inner Sanctuary 🌹 and commented:
A Post worth sharing.
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Thank you Elaine, for reblogging. It means a lot to me.
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Also reblogged on the daily word post. Happy New Year Jane, I wish you every success in this venture ❤️
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Wow! It would never have occurred to me to reblog a post on there. That’s brilliant! xxx
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I hope it brings forward all the help you need Jane 😉 when I saw the daily word post I saw that was a sure fire way of getting your message across…. I do hope people reblog it. 😃
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So do I. I haven’t been very active on my blog lately, and I think a lot of my followers have given up on me – and I need access as many people as possble. I wish I’d thought of this three months ago, when my blog was flying.
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Dont worry Jane, if its meant to be it will happen, I doubt your that easily forgotten 🙂
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I hope you’re right, Elaine
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think positively Jane don’t doubt yourself
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🙂
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I am not a FB fan but I have 2 Twitter accounts that I use to spread the word about my beBee ambassador position. My Twitter accounts are a lot to keep up with because I promote the writings and blogs of others, but a Twitter account for Laura should be easy. You just sign up and like, Tweet and Retweet. There’s not much to keep up with if you don’t want to. Good luck and take it step by step.
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Thank you for the advice, Eugenia.
My blog posts will automatically go to Twitter, so I don’t have to worry about that. I just didn’t understand the etiquette.
So if someone likes my Tweet or Retweets, all I do is click like? No more than that? I thought that, for a Twitter account to be successful, you had to follow other account holders, and be really active.
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Following other Twitter account will help you get more followers. And being active helps. What is the Twitter handle?
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I don’t have one yet, as I haven’t started this thing up. I need to know how to get the blog high on the Google list before I even begin.
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I feel extraordinarily excited for you, Jane. On the tags and driving traffic to your blog, I recently did a ‘content marketing’ free course with ‘Shaw Academy” recently. It’s 5 week’s long, and twice a week tutorials, but you can catch up if you miss them. Not sure how accessible the ‘free’ part is now, but may be worth checking out.
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I’m pretty excited, too.
Thanks for the advice, Safar. It sounds like what I need. I’ll Google it. WP have advice on marketing, but for some reason I found it confusing.
I’m sorry I dropped out of your ECo thing – I’m sure you know that it was simply because I fell apart for a while. But I can still access it…
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I understand completely. And of course it’ll be always there.
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I certainly hope so…
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Ideas that come at night are great ideas, only, we don’t give them enough credit in the morning. So, yours is great, with potential to become a huuuge one – on condition people – that’s us – make it spread to work. I am so happy to hear about your daughter, and I truly believe in the power of prayer and of positive input from others.
My word: Go For It!!!
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Thanks for the great encouragement. When I thought of this, I knew it was too good to be allowed to slip away. Laura has been helped so much by my WP friends, that I wanted to give others the opportunity to receive that help.
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Forgot to say that I’m going to post it for sure, although I don’t have that much traffic.
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Thank you. I thought you’d stopped posting ages ago…
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🙂 You are right. But only because otherwise I couldn’t write at my Memoir “Farewell and Hello, Dad” – it’s now in the editing stage, and I posted about it on Dec 31st. Thanks, I felt from your above lines that you really, do care.
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It’s about my last month with dad…
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Good luck with your memoir, if you’re looking to get it published.
Yes, I care. I care about the ecology, about war and hatred, about starvation and suffering, but I’m hooked into addiction (what an appropriate phrase…). I hate the suffering it causes, stealing our children and destroying their families. I hate that so many others suffer the way my children and I do, and, finally, I think I’ve found a way I can help.
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Reblogged this on dilkiaawazsunoblog and commented:
May be this could help.. I don’t know how.. but felt it will.. so I am reblogging so do read..
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Thank you so much! It’s a great help.
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If you happy I am also happy.. I am glad I could do this much atleast..
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🙂
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Your daughter is beautiful she will be hail and hearty soon.. my prayers for her and many like hers.. that is all I can give right now..
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You’ve already done more than that by reblogging. Thank you for your prayers and for reblogging. It makes a huge difference. My daughter texted me today and sent me a link to a charity she thought I’d be interested in. She hasn’t been that engaged with my interests for years – it’s miraculous.
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Miracles are yet to happen.. just wait and watch.. it’s just the beginning.. 🙂
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Reblogged this on The Lace In My Head Mirrors the Cosmic Mind and commented:
Addiction Support Blog
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Thank you!
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Hi, I found this post/your blog via Jacqueline (A Cooking Pot & Twisted Tales). Fabulous idea!
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You reblogged my post. Thank you so much! by doing so, you have made a difference. Who knows how far the ripple you have created will reach…
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Pleasure. I hope the ripple spreads far and wide. Good luck!
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Sometimes it’s impossible to know how much good we may have done by a single action 🙂
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❤ ❤
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Reblogged this on Blog of a Mad Black Woman.
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xxx
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I think this is a super idea! You know there are lots of sites for families of cancer victims who are going through chemo. The sites are both for helping to keep the caregivers buoyed up and for caregivers to keep others informed of how things are going. I’m thinking it would work the same way somehow. You probably need to get it up and running and then figure out how to get it close to the top in Google searches. I so have NO expertise in that area. I don’t do Facebook or Twitter. But I do have a couple friends who may have some ideas. One in Australia and one here in the states. I will forward your email to them and see if they have any suggestions. Then tomorrow I will reblog your post since I’ve already reblogged one today.
And Judy at Life Lessons is right. Laura looks just like her mama!!! 😀
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Have you looked to see if this kind of idea has already been done? I feel like it sounds familiar but can’t for sure if I’ve seen it before.
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I go on a lot of addiction sites, and I chase up their links. I also follow a lot of addiction sites on FaceBook. I’ve never seen it done before – but it doesn’t mean there’s nothing out there. I’d like to see such sites everywhere, so more people would be able to access one.
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A wonderful idea, I’ve spent many hours transcribing interviews with grandparents/siblings/drug misusers. The families always had so much to say and many lacked a support network. The addict often struggled to untangle from their social circles. I hope your new blog helps many.
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Did I know you were in that line of work? I’m afraid I’ve been forgetting a lot lately. Your encourageming words inspire me.
There are a lot of support blogs out there – and FaceBook pages – but I don’t know how well they work. I’m hoping this will be interactive, enabling followers to communicate with each other: I don’t know how to facilitate that, but I intend to find out over the next few weeks.
Yes, addicts become disenfranchised, and parents feel isolated; inferior to those they once thought equals.
For a while, I felt ashamed each time I walked down the street.
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Sounds like a fabulous idea and sure to make a difference. So proud of you turning a difficult situation into something that will benefit many! May it continue to bless your family as well.
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Thank you. I usually back down from doing anything scary like this, because I’m terrified of failure, so I thought I’d better shout about it, so that I have to see it through.
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Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
For those of you who don’t know Jane from Making it write, she’s the beautiful mom of four adult children, two of whom are addicts. I have been so inspired watching her cope and trying to make a difference in their lives, and now she feels called to the mission of encouraging the parents of other addicts. She is planning to start a new website along those lines. Please take a minute to read Jane’s post, and if there’s anyway you can lend a hand, she’d love to hear from you. 🙂
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Thank you, Calen. I think you know how much this means to me…
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Sounds like a great idea Jane!! I’ve been thinking about you and wondering where you were..seems for some reason I stopped getting notifications telling me you posted a blog post 😬 I’ve now fixed it!
Happy New Year my friend ❤
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Thank you Linda.
I’ve a feeling that the notifications sometimes switch off if you don’t post for a while.
I’m embarrassed to tell you this, after what you’ve been through, but I hit a wall, back in November. When things are really awful, I keep going, because I may be needed. I may have a couple of down days, but I bounce back up. When things calm down I collapse, and that’s what happened. I’m over it now.
Happy New Year to you, brave Amazon xxx
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We may have different reasons for hitting our walls Jane, doesn’t mean the pain is any more or less………
Happy New a Year to you as well my friend…. xxxx
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My teenage daughter said something like that. She was seven months pregnant. Her partner had just died of pneumonia, and she was looking after her friend, who was upset over a terrible row she’d had with her brother. She was inconsolable until Claire mediated between them, but then she felt guilty for bothering Claire at such a time. Claire said that pain is pain, whatever the reason behind it, and she had no right to claim that hers was more acute; a selfless statement for one who still secretly grieves, 20 years on.
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Selfless indeed
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A wonderful idea Jane.
I hope it all goes well. 💕
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Thank you Alan. Power to the people!
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Jane, I also seem not be receiving your posts. In the last one you sounded desperate unhappy. This post and your idea make my heart sing. I will definitely reblog and try to help you.
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Thank you, Bernadette. I’d be really grateful.
I was desperately unhappy, but I’m over it now. I used to wonder why two of my children were addicts. I felt that maybe it was because I was supposed to do something, but I couldn”t figure out what that thing was. Maybe this was it.
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We always wonder why, why, why and beat ourselves up. But just as we can’t take the credit for our children’s successes, also we should not shoulder the burden of their failures.
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Deep down I know why it happened. when they were children, I warned their father that if he didn’t stop wilfully using such dreadful parenting practices something awful would happen. He ricocheted between bullying and spoiling, was inconsistant, encouraged them to keep secrets from me, lied for them, taught them to lie, encouraged unethical behaviour, obstructed me when I sought help… I should have left him before it was too late, but he had destroyed my confidence before either of them were even born. I think he resented me because I was – or had been – intelligent and capable, and his behaviour towards them was just another attack on me. I think he has terrible regrets now.
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I hope he does…..
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Reblogged this on Haddon Musings and commented:
If your family suffers from the courage of drug addiction, I think you will want to read this.
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Thank you Bernadette! It’s the ripples that people send out which will make this a success, and by reblogging, you’re stirring the waters of healing…
Maybe I’ll use that in a poem.
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That would make a very uplifting poem. You should.
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When my head’s in the right place – I’m a bit manic at the moment.
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Hi Jane and belated Happy New Year for you and yours 🙂 Wonderful to read that Laura is doing so well and seems a fab idea for a support blog – a bit like a ‘prayer wall’ is how it reminded me of in part. Adding a contact form is quite simple if you’re using the dashboard version you find it in ‘add media’ . Maybe I’m wrong and it’s in the ‘improved editor’ tho if you’re posting from that and it’s not there with ‘Add media’, scroll down to WPAdmin’ to access the dashboard. Hope that makes sense, sorry I’ve not checked for if you made one already as on my phone at moment. With twitter and facebook campaigns tagging enters posts into those streams and building a network of interested and willing sharers helps recirculation. As you know already. Soz! Maybe there’s a media-marketing ‘firm’ or professional or even a uni/college community project or somewhere that might be able to help. With all the goodwill in the world allowing volunteer control of your social media could get quite dicey. But I’m sure you have enough know how to set all sorts of such fine detail while you develop your project. Best wishes and I’ll try to catch up with you again in near future. Cheers 🙂
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I think you’re right about volunteer help. It may be different if a group of us were setting this up together. I expect I can manage it all. It was the time factor I was worried about. I have other commitments – but if I have to give a couple of them up for this, so be it. This project should be my top priority. Everything else is just play, for my own pleasure.
I haven’t made a contact page – I should do that now. Then I’ll get on twitter and start taking an interest in appropriate sites. I need to start preparing now.
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This is a lovely thing you are doing, I hope you find the technical help you need. I wish you the best of luck and hope Laura continues to get healthier.
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Thank you so much for your supportive message. Your good wishes will give nourishment to Laura.
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I’m jumping in a little late on this conversation, but I am going to start blogging about addiction. (That’s my plan anyway!) In an earlier comment you talked about Facebook groups and these blogs if they would be helpful to anyone and my answer to that is absolutely! Addicts need encouragement and to know that people really, honestly care. Relapses are going to happen, but as long as people keep are trying to fight their demons and beat addiction that is all I ask. Way too many people are dying because of this horrible disease and if all it takes is one of us to say that we care, we understand, and that we’re here, I am willing to be that person! Maybe we can help some people together!
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I’m in the middle of a crisis at the moment, and I may not be able to get my planned new blog off the ground as soon as I had hoped (the beginning of April) but I’d like us to talk some more when things are calm.
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Sounds good, hope everything is OK. Just shoot me a message when you can!
Thanks, Megan
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OK, Megan.
All the best,
Jane
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Great post, great idea–you and your family are in my daily prayers. God still does miracles–healing and restoring TODAY; and it’s never too late to turn to Him, and start over again.
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Thank you for your kindness, RL. It means a great deal to my family.
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You’re most welcome.
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This is very very great! My mom is a addicted & i believe girls that’s younger than me need help to get through with having a addict mom.
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I’m ashamed to have to tell you that I won’t be starting that blog, mainly because I can’t give it the attention it would require, but there are other reasons which I won’t go into. I can offer you a consolation prize; I’ve been with the support group, Families Anonymous, for several years. It’s purpose is to help families of addicts to learn to cope with their lives and difficulties. We don’t pretend to have the “cure” for addiction, but we often find that a change of attitude does more than just making our lives easier; it sometimes leads the addict into choosing recovery. See if there’s an FA group near you, or you could go to their online site and see if they can help you.
You say you think their are girls younger than you in the same situation. I don’t know you, so I can’t tell if this is an option, but maybe you could link up with some of them. You need to talk stuff through.
I wish you had an active WordPress site, so I could keep in touch with you…
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