Weapons of Feathers

abuse323

I catch the eye of your smokestack attack,
your knick-knack decree, your prickly glee,
your steel filigree of quack accusations;
your erroneous, odious, misconceived notion
that you hold the skeleton key.

How dare you presume to assess my position,
to deny my depths, my needs and my reasons,
How dare you declare that mistreatment thrills me;
why do you wish to further diminish
this unwilling detainee?

You misread my desires when you speak of agendas,
dismembering debris from my deadened embers,
placing the blame and incentive on me;
yet you can’t oversee my weighty life story
you’re not even a nominee.

I repudiate all of your fool’s accusations;
the self-satisfied sewage that you blithely peruse,
denying the truth that the root of abuse
lies with the abuser, who uses his beastly repartee
to make a recluse of me.

Each time he unlooses his sly war-cry ruses
that criticise and vilify, and meanly seek to crucify,
the savagery is magnified, and all the while
he denies or justifies every stultifying lie,
crushing me like a flea.

He steals all my strength and my self-belief;
leaves me convinced that I’m too weak to leave.
I want to break free, to seek my redemption,
but all I have left are weapons of feathers;
I am a failed escapee.

How can I fight or escape the mind-rape;
I can’t fan a fire whose flames have died,
I’ve no place to flee and no way to hide.
Your ignorance stinks, you’ve wakened my ire,
you are mistaken, you see.

You proselytize bootlace, bottled psychology,
lamely proclaiming I’m playing a game,
of break-ups and make-ups and titillation,
of lusty fun with fumbling seduction,
but you are wrong about me.

I high-time you booted your latchkey untruths,
stop denying what lies in the core of abuse,
you have no knowledge to back your excuses;
don’t spit slick idioms as you lick your silver spoon,
and finally, leave me be.


I’ve run out of internet data 8 days before the new month begins, and am publishing this via my daughter’s account. This is the fourth month running that this has happened. Up until then, I always had loads left at the end of the month. I’m not using the internet any more than I used to. I feel confused and frustrated, so instead of doing the sensible thing – ringing my supplier and asking what’s going on – I’m taking it out on someone who wrote an insulting post about a million years ago, claiming that women who are abused, stay because they enjoy the abuse…

©Jane Paterson Basil

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22 thoughts on “Weapons of Feathers

        1. That’s like our gas bill. Most of my neighbours in this block are not very bright; they think the central heating is free, but it’s not. It’s included in the service charge, and estimated from the cost of the previous year’s bill. In effect, I subsidise all of the tenants who overheat their apartments. The heat which seeps through the floor and walls is so overpowering that I keep my windows open even in winter.

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          1. I turned off heat weeks ago and it’s so cool in here I don’t use a/c. But it’s a pain not being able to use open windows all the time. I’m on g he ground floor of course and if it’s windy the dust is terrible.

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            1. That’s one thing I can’t complain about. I’m on the third (top) floor and I have one of the two best views in this 38 apartment building… but the heat rises. You can’t have everything…

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  1. sorry for your lack of data, best to check with the supplier?

    Sounds like her trite comments cut deep, glad you called her out, even a million years later .. healthy to get it off your chest!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Jane, this is an awesome piece of powerful and emotional poetry. Your every word is strongly poignant, and there’s lots of lines I could pick out with glee !! However I especially liked this line. “Don’t spit slick idioms as you lick your silver spoon,” Well done my friend, truly an excellent poem.

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        1. I’d try to come up with a funny response to that, but I just noticed it’s daylight outside. Last time I looked it was night-time., but now it’s 5am, this naughty girl’s beddie-byes time. I need a mother to look after me… 🙂 🙂 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

    1. It certainly helped – although it would have made sense for me to also contact my internet supplier 😉 I want to cancel and get unlimited broadband, but I have an aversion to organising that kind of thing…

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