The Curs

Kiri's-scribbles.jpg

Some days
maybe for a week or more,
the curs sleep. I square my shoulders,
hold my chin parallel to the world,
point my nose
toward
the next
moment.

A jaunty walk, a go-getter smile –
both come easy on days like these,
yet I never forget;

inside me
the curs lurk.

I hear them snore,
my stomach lurches when they turn,
and always
I take
a deep
breath,
cataloguing my gems
until breathing is easy again,
blinding every sense to the sighs, the snorts,
the crawling taunts
of a disturbed cur.

If it retreats into still sleep,
I have succeeded in my quest for peace,
but too often
a cur’s
trickling
dream
leads into a curdling cry
and the pack wakes,
instantly absorbed
in its vicious intent.

Attacking the threads in my mind,
they tangle and snap the intricate design
whose painstaking lines
create a picture
of serenity.

As I am currently out of reach of the Internet most of the time, I’m unable to keep up with my reading, and my posts are sporadic, which is why my response to Kira’s Sunday Scribbles Challenge is two days late.

©Jane Paterson Basil

30 thoughts on “The Curs

  1. I love the last stanza especially. The poem as a whole pretty much captures for me what it’s like being tormented by “curs”, although it’s been quite a while since I’ve experienced such a thing (probably because of my meds).

    Like

    1. I upped my meds a couple of weeks ago. Now my biggest problem is remembering where I’m meant to go today, which way it is, and how to stay upright while I’m walking there. I arranged to go to the local park with my two older daughters last the day after I increased my dose. One of them lives five minutes walk from me, and the park is ten minutes away. I’ve lived here all my life, and yet I walked in the opposite direction from both my daughter and the park. It took me almost twenty-five minutes to reach it. When I tried to tell them, my words came out in the wrong order.

      I think I should stick to writing everything I want to say.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh dear Jane, you sound like me, after they’d sent me from hospital recovering from my Stroke, just as well you’re not driving a car, it took me a year before I was allowed to drive again…. I so hope everything settles down for you soon ((Hugs)) xx

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s a scary image you’ve painted – of someone trying to fight the darker part of themselves and not always succeeding. I like the repetition of the word ‘curs’ – it conjures some ragged, hyena type, half-demon creature in my mind. Very fitting. Loved this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Lynn. Every time I typed the word ‘curs’ it made me uncomfortable for some reason, and yet I felt it was the perfect choice. It seems I got it right, since you see the picture exactly as I was trying to draw it..

      Liked by 1 person

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