Hermaphrodite

terriblepoetry_warning

I seem to be a little out of sync. this week. Instead of composing a poem for this week’s Terrible Poetry Contest, I got confused and came up with a response one posted by Chelsea way back in July. Rather than apologise, I’ll blame my daughter’s impending motherhood. Her labour is set to be induced, and I’m all over the place.

Requirements for The Terrible Poetry Contest Week 34 (tut-tut! it’s now week 48).

  1. Topic: Animals and their pregnancy.
    Did you know the African Bush Elephant carries …well, an elephant for 22 months? That a male seahorse carries the babies (up to 1,500!)? Or that female Komodo Dragons can impregnate themselves without a male through a process called parthenogenesis?
    Did you know you’re going to write a poem about it?
  2. Just to make it more fun, I’d like the Length to be about Hallmark Valentine’s Day card-sized. Bonus points if you actually write it like a Hallmark Valentine’s Day card.
  3. Rhyme? It’s up to you.
  4. Mostly, just make it terrible. Whilst composing your note of affection, a pregnant elephant all the way across the ocean needs to raise its head from the water hole toilet and vow to spend its next 21 months making its way to your house…
  5. do know where babies come from; but if National Geographic can keep things clinical, I think our usual PG rating will suffice.

Additional a very wise person has asked if I would include the following word.

antediluvian

HERMAPHRODITE (a verse both tardy and terrible) 

The slime you ooze like TB spit
Incites desire; I cherish it.
Our sticky union filled my heart,
But we unglued and had to part.
Our antediluvian rhapsody
Meant almost all the world to me,
But should you once more be my guest
Please pardon me if I suggest
You lay the eggs while I retire
To dream of how you stoked my fire.
I love you, slug, but beg you see
How playing mother tested me.

©Jane Paterson Basil

9 thoughts on “Hermaphrodite

  1. Seriously Jane? That first line is cringe-worthy on its own….you did warn it was terrible. *Sigh* – how write you are
    PS – I look forward to hearing about your new grand-baby. Just try to stay glued together. You’re not the one giving birth, you’re the cheer squad

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so exciting. She’s going into hospital tomorrow afternoon. I know induction is not the ideal way to give birth, but as long as mother and baby are both OK, that’s all that really matters. We don’t expect little Joshua to arrive before Sunday night or Monday morning…

      Liked by 1 person

        1. I’m longing for the moment, but I have to stand in line behind the proud mum and dad – and I’ll do my best to show good grace and allow his half sister to step in front of me. She’s Laura’s birth partner, along with me.

          Liked by 1 person

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