Category Archives: limerick

Candid Camera.

This is just a quickie, if you’ll pardon the pun…

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She couldn’t resist what she saw
when she gazed at her brother-in-law.
He slipped her a key
thinking no-one would see
through a solid wood bedroom door.

But sometimes walls contain eyes
that record our deceit and our lies.
Their passion was brief
and their randy relief
preceded a nasty surprise.

A candid camera had caught ‘er
doing what she didn’t aughta.
her behaviour so lewd
was what started the feud
with her mother’s other daughter.

.

©Jane Paterson Basil

Five troubles

  1. The trouble with having a drink
    Is it makes you unable to think
    Now I’ve three men in tow
    And I think I may throw
    Myself and the booze in the drink.
  2.  

  3. I wanted no trouble from men
    So I built a steel walled den
    But I forgot the door
    now I sit on the floor
    Begging for help from strong men
  4.  

  5. There was a young lady of Nice
    Whose hair was troubled by grease
    She shaved it away
    And the very next day
    She went out and bought a hairpiece
  6.  

  7. A young man was having trouble
    With his face, which was covered in stubble
    De da dee dee da
    De da dee dee da
    De da dee dee da dee dee flubble.
  8.  

  9. The trouble with me is, I’m tired
    From constantly feeling wired
    Those dee da’s were lazy
    But my brain’s getting hazy
    And no longer am I inspired

Written for Esther Newton’s Weekly Challenge Choice 1 “Write a limerick with the word trouble in it somewhere.” I’ve missed this challenge so much that I felt the need to write five – maybe it would be more accurate to call it four-and-a-half…

©Jane Paterson Basil

Four nosey posies

This week,  Esther Newton challenged her readers to write a limerick which includes the word ‘Nosey’. I got carried away and wrote four…

The chicken-bellied parson of Aldershot
Was a nosey, backmailing, wicked lot
Even when in repose
The parson’s nose
Could weazel out secrets, and plot

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I used to think life was rosey
Til I married a man who was nosey.
I dispised that guy
And his efforts to spy
On my lover and me getting cosy!

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I didn’t like the people of this nosey town
The backbiting and rumours got me down
I shot everybody dead
and now, instead
I miss all my friends in this lonely town

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And finally:

Nosey Rosie Thompson-Twitty
(although she is really VERY pretty)
has a nose like a bus
but so dangerous
it’s been banished from Birmingham city

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©Jane Paterson Basil

Baggage.

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Blogging 201 Poetry course. Assignment 2. a rather silly limerick on the subject of a journey, incorporating alliteration.

I trip down this time-torn track
With baying beasts at my back
What they don’t realise
is, because of their size
I could drop them all into a sack

When I come to the end of the trail
Unless human kindness prevail
I could find a bin
and then throw them all in
To stop them from chasing my tail

© Jane Paterson Basil