Category Archives: silliness

A spot of ballet

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Posted for Esther Newton’s Weekly Writing Challenge Option 3: Write a twenty-word story including all of the following words: DESTROYED, ALIBI, PROTOTYPE, NAUGHTY, BOB, and BALLET.

I feel generous today, so I’ve posted four, each one sillier than the last.

Apparently, naughty Bob, the prototype ballet bot,  destroyed the show by rescuing the dying swan. He had no alibi.

Bob stole my prototype self-dancing ballet shoes, then destroyed them. Now he’s looking for an alibi. Naughty man!dance-271

“Stop bobbing, Bob. No naughty alibi can deny it was you who destroyed the ballet, you prototype for dancing disaster.”

In a naughty ballet, Bob danced the prototype crime-preventor away and destroyed it.
The alibi? His wooden leg!

©Jane Paterson Basil

Flubbertie

It’s timepetition com – I mean competition time!

Inspired by the Roover and Spender – sorry, the Reverend Spooner, I’ve bane pleeing – oops! been playing in the cutlery drawer. Yes, that’s what I mean, the cutlery drawer, and I’ve raid a little mime – here we go again, I mean I’ve ride a little maim – no no! I’ve made a little rhyme which became slightly confused, what with spoonerisms and kniferisms and the like. Perhaps someone could unravel it for me. First person to succeed wins something peculiar from the back of my cupboard, if they’re prepared to come to North Devon, England, and collect it…

I saught I thaw a flubbertie
flowing Ivorhead
but when I gooked a lane I saw
the thor pittle ding was lead
and it was skropping drew the thigh
like it was laid of med

I bought I thaw a sumblebee
fluzzing in a bower
but when I lanced another chook
it was flot a nower
and it was botanee –
and I felt piss endowered

goys and burls, it’s a wunny old furled
where thongs are knit
always the way sings theme
rare theal wings and sot you wee
don’t always take a meam
so weed my horning and cook larefully
whenever ye sue a flubbertie, a bower or a flea

©Jane Paterson Basil

Trying to pull the wool over my eyes

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In the usual way of such things,
unsilicited, the mobile rings
and the voice at the other ends says
“You have been selected to win
two hundred and fifty pounds worth
of High Street vouchers or
a brand new Ipad, all you have to do is”
She didn’t finish; I had cut her off in mid-flow.
Woe, woe, woe is me,
I have given away a thrilling opportunity
to be given money for nothing, or an Ipad –
although she could mean a pad to cover my eyes.
I wonder, would it have been made out of wool…

©Jane Paterson Basil

Non-nominate

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I have not created a new award for award-free blogs, because award free bloggers don’t accept awards. I know many good people whose blogs are award free, and these are the people who I will not be nominating for my prestigious award free blog non-award.

All non-nominees are invited not to accept the non-nomination, and not to pass on their own non-nominations. You can choose how many blogs to not nominate. However, should you choose not to not accept my non-nomination, feel free not to not  pass on the non-nomination to other award-free bloggers – I will not be offended.

These are my non-nominations:

Impromptu Promptlings: The lovely truth-seeker Calen, who has been such an inspiration to me, with her mixture of wisdom and vulnerability. With compassion and good sense she supports me each time my confidence sinks, every time I feel myself falling into depression. For all of these reasons and more, I am honoured to have found the opportunity not to nominate her for this prestigious non-award.

Plato’s Groove:The wise man with a voice of melting gravel, Plato. Visiting his site always leaves me more positive than I was before; more able to see the beautiful world through his eyes. I spend far too little time in the warmth of his company.

I would also like to not nominate the following bloggers whose blogs may or may not be award-free. (If they are not award free I apologise for the misunderstanding and suggest that you not not accept the not-nomination and I will not be offended if you simply ignore it.):

Word Shamble: My witty, intelligent friend Lynn, who positively encourages my silly sense of humour, responding to the insanity of my comments with hilarious aplomb. She has a quirky talent for connecting all sorts of disparate subjects and objects, and an impressive collection of general knowledge.

Whatthehellisreal: The calming Michelle with her friendly Gravitas image and casually spoken messages that never fail to relax me. Her posts are interesting and informative, reminding me that the same battles are fought all over the world, but we can rise above them. Her poetry is divine and earthy at the same time.

Anton’s Ideas: There is so much I could say about Anton. This kind, gentle man has helped me to embrace concepts that before I only nodded to, before quickly turning to matters which seemed easier to deal with. I am humbled by his achievements and by his massively generous spirit.

Lifelessons: Any blogger who is searching for something new to read would be glad to find Judy’s blog. She writes. She writes well. Everything she writes is worth reading, whether fact or fiction, prose or poetry. Her life has been so interesting that it is hard to separate reality from invention. Oh, and by the way, she has a good, noble heart and is great to talk to.

Weird Awesome: who is awesome indeed. She’s done it all and learned to fight her demons against all odds. My heart goes out to her as she conquers them, occasionaly slipping back, but always valiantly grasping her sword and shield again. She says her story is not interesting, but it is, and I wish I could lead anyone who has similar troubles to this shining star.

Sirena Ross: Sirena’s poems are mind-blowing, reflecting the many coloured  thoughts of an amazing woman. I love her turn of phrase and her talent for metaphor; she isn’t a prolific blogger, but when she writes it pours out of her in the most unexpected and illuminating way.

I’d like to give credit to another wonderful blogger, who I am unfortunately not able to not nominate, because her blog is not award-free:

Soul Gifts: This is the gracious Raili, who combines the earthly and the spiritual to offer holistic well-being to all who are lucky enough to find her. She is always ready with compassion and good advice when she sees me in difficulties, and I bow to her wisdom.

©Jane Paterson Basil

Yay! It’s the weekend!

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I have a guilt ridden secret, a single desire
it’s a deep throaty tickle that would light my fire
It’s a naughty little want and I’ll tell it to you
In the form of a simple, catchy Haiku

coffee coffee cof
fee coffee coffee coffee
coffee coffee cof…

Anarchy in the weekend! Burn the text books! Write bad poetry!
Have a cup of coffee!

©Jane Paterson Basil

The Good, The Bad And The Silly

When I first started blogging, I found a useful piece of advice on a writers blog:
Write badly every day. Today I decided to have a go.

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The Good, The Bad and The Silly

Give me some of that food, dude
Give me some of that food

Give me some of that fun, hun
Give me some of that fun

Give me some of that love, dove
Give me some of that love

Give me some of that sleep, peep
Give me some of that sleep

© Jane Paterson Basil