Tag Archives: memo to self

Reminders to self



Kitchen is not self-cleaning

Neither is fridge

Bees don’t understand the concept of windows

Hornets get angry when I try to explain

Can’t spend the same £20 twice

Cleaning the fridge doesn’t always get rid of the smell of cheese

Have to eat the stinky cheese

Eating stinky cheese makes me stinky

Can’t go to the gym because I stink of camembert

Moths don’t understand the concept of windows either

Can’t spend the same £20 (that I tried to spend twice) three times

Find out why the dirt flies out of the hoover, under the cupdoard door and back onto the floor 21 minutes after I’ve vacuumed.

Put a note to bees, hornets, moths AND wasps on the window, explaining concept of glass

Cleaned the fridge. Kitchen still stinky

Dust on floor not dust from hoover bag. Find out where dust comes from

Hoover bag full. Empty hoover bag.

Next time be more careful.

Hoover dust back into hoover bag.

Find out about self-cleaning carpets

buy more cheese

It’s not the fridge, it’s the dishcloth

Find a language that bees, hornets, moths, wasps AND birds can read

It’s not the dishcloth. It’s the stinky cheese wrappers in the bin

What did I do with that £20 note?

Keep a beer glass and a bit of card by the window. Bees, hornets, moths, wasps and birds can’t read

Sparrows are impossible to trap in beer glasses

At night, moths fly back in, attracted by the light

Train eyes to see in the dark

Borrow £20. Pay it back when I find that other £20

buy more cheese

Maybe some milk I spilled on the floor last week splashed under the fridge

Behind cooker?

Get self-cleaning kitchen

Ditto fridge

Large yellow and black striped wasp-like thing battering window. Flying cat? Check online

buy more cheese

Clean bathroom tomorrow, after good night’s sleep

©Jane Paterson Basil