They remember
marveling at their child of light
stirring beneath quilt and blanket,
perking up to see them,
wakening each day
with a perfect smile.
Without a sound,
the chill,
like a stir in the air,
begins.
A shower gel smell,
steamy fresh,
wafts from the bathroom,
trails through his bedroom into the kitchen,
collides and is swallowed
with the coffee.
He rifles through the closet,
argues about which shirt,
which pants.
There is no coaxing him.
He takes to debating when
the T.V. anchorman
tells his news.
Loudly
he punctuates every need,
before he goes
downstairs
to the basement,
a fresh little rebel
waiting in his lair, poised
to march forward
and away.
I took Calen’s lovely poem, Mornings, and cruelly twisted into another shape. Thank you Calen, for inviting me to corrupt your words.
©Jane Paterson Basil
Oh Jane! That is absolutely so precious seeing him grow up like that. You did a brilliant job! I KNEW you were the one to do it! 😀 ❤
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Thank you Calen – I was flattered that you asked me, and I really enjoyed arranging the words 🙂
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Reblogged this on Impromptu Promptlings and commented:
Word Cloud Poetry
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The link for the reblog of Jane’s poem is not correct as reblogging it wouldn’t let me add the Word Cloud for some reason. If you wish to visit the new page, please go to:
https://promptlings.wordpress.com/2016/07/21/word-cloud-challenge-rebel-jane-basil-making-it-write/
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I wondered what had gone wrong there…
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No clue. It just wasn’t there when I previewed it. Btw, I LOVE the rainbow colors in your heading!
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Thank you! I spent ages working on a new design, and scrapped several ideas before I figured out what I wanted to do. I’m really pleased with the effect, and yet it’s so simple 🙂
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It’s fun and happy and leaves room for possibilities!
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That’s it! When I started blogging I had no idea what it was all about – I’d never even followed a blog. I was way too serious – or maybe way too depressed… 🙂
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See!
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🙂 🙂 🙂
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Jane, this is an absolutely beautiful rewrite of Calen’s word cloud !!
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Thank you Raili – it was a fun challenge 🙂
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I loved this too – didn’t realise it was your blog. The process, the outcome – fantastic. Can really relate to the observation of a child’s development captured in this.
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Thank you – I was pleased (and a bit surprised) by how well this came out, considering the constraints.
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