The man who stole pens
didn’t smoke cigarettes, so he left folks’ lighters for others to steal.

The man who stole pens
had a huge collection of medication for all kinds of ills.
he’d rip off tools and anything loose, no matter how you may feel.

The man who stole pens
had a tuning fork that he’d picked up for free ninety nine.
His shed was filled with boxes of tools, all of them Asda priced.
He wrote lists and and reminders with a cheap,  shop-bought bic,
and the dust in his shed was piled thick .

The man who stole pens
was dignified; he was proud to be healthy and fit,
He had no use for medication, he just liked collecting it.
His body was hale and hearty;
it’s a pity his brain was so sick.

Rip off = steal
free ninety nine, Asda priced = stolen
half-inched (pinched – cockney rhyming slang) = stolen

©Jane Paterson Basil

10 thoughts on “Dignified?

  1. I can relate to this poem in weird ways: my lighter was stolen + we used to have a president who stole a pen at an official occasion and everyone was poking fun at him. Your poem is quite an eclectic mixture of things!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s about my ex. It’s all true except the bit abut the tuning fork. He had over a carrier bag full of stolen pens, and a drawer full of meds. When I asked him for my screwdrivers back, he bought me new ones, rather than return them. I didn’t want new ones. Some of my tools meant a lot to me. They had history. I have to stop now, or this will become a rant about all the other weird stuff he did.


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